I remember one Valentine’s Day, I felt so alone when I went to work and everyone had flowers or candy delivered. I worked with all women and it was depressing that almost everyone received something and I felt so low because I was actually dating someone who not only didn’t send me anything to work, but had nothing for me when I went home. I remember crying and feeling really low and that no one cared, which in general was my norm when it comes to February 14.
I’ve had a love-hate relationship most of my life with Valentine’s Day. I was never the girl who received cards and treats as a child unless the teacher made it a rule that everyone gets gifts if you wanted to bring something to school. In high school it was worse. I wasn’t unpopular but I was the quiet girl that boys may have crushed on but chose another girl to be on their arms. I would watch my friends and classmates get ‘heart grams’ and walk around with stuffed toys. All I wanted was to get a Vday gift and it would be a couple more years before I received one. For some reason, I would get into it with one whoever I was dating before Valentine’s Day. I then made it a rule no matter what, I wouldn’t do anything that would end in a break up before Valentine’s Day, Feb. 15 was fine but not before. I acually still have that philosophy, and I tell anyone, if you don’t think you can handle being alone on Vday if you’re already in a relationship, bite that tongue until that day passes.
When I finally got a bouquet of flowers on VDay, ironically I felt nothing. It was like well, he was supposed to be get me something because he was a good boyfriend. And going out to dinner on Vday is overrated. I have received nice gifts since that first bouquet and felt somehow empty. I still expected gifts and would be mad when I didn’t get one, even though I knew that it didn’t mean anyhing to me, because you’re supposed to get them if you’re in a relationship, right?
Until I realized that a gift was always more special when it was unexpected, like on a random Tuesday, and the gift was meaningful. One of the sweetest gifts I got was a note that my boyfriend wrote while sitting across from me on Vday, while we were both working on projects. It was unexpected and it was from his heart. Another gift was a surprise trip to the park in March, where he grabbed a blanket, bought us turkey burgers and fries and enjoyed the breeze of a beautiful day. I started to realize that I had bought into the notion that somehow I was not important to the man in my life or as other women if I didn’t receive a gift on February 14. I had to break that notion because I found myself either upset or empty, neither good feelings. It dawned on me that Vday is a beautiful day whether you have a significant other or not. It’s a day of love to share with someone in your life.
Since I made that realization, I have hosted parties for myself and friends on Vday as a celebration of love because that’s all it really is. We have fun listening to music, laughing, talking, and eating good food. My mother has always made a point to get me a card or candy every year since I can remember and I never acknowledged until last few years because it wasn’t from a man. I thank her for reminding me that I am always loved and though I don’t need any tokens from her, I look forward to her corny cards and $1 chocolates in a heart-shaped boxes.
If you find yourself feeling lonely for whatever reason, embrace it for no more than an hour, and then shake it off and focus on the love you do have, the love you can hold, the love you can touch, the love you see, and the love you believe deep down is somewhere in the future for you. Do something on Vday to celebrate love, whether it’s nothing more than chilling at home, watching your favorite show, taking a bubble bath, reading a book, or dancing to your jam…We only have this one life…No time for feeling sorry for ourselves when we should be celebrating!!!
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
Tell me your thoughts/feelings about February 14…
Do you feel lonelier on this day than other days?
Is it just another day?
Are you a huge Vday fan?
How do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?