“Shit…fucking shit feel so good…swallow all of it,” I grunted. My hands were planted against my shower wall as Raquel kneeled in front of me, indulging in my dick for breakfast. She loved giving head and I loved receiving it.
After sucking me dry, she rose and leaned her head back letting the warm rain over her braids, pretty face, perky breasts, flat belly, and waxed pussy. I hugged her sexy naked body to me, wanting to fuck but no time. “Hey, I have to get out of here before I miss my flight. Round two and three when I get back?” I was flying back to Tallahassee to pick up Dominick for Spring Break.
She pressed herself into me, kissing my lips slowly. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Yeah, me too.” I briefly tongued her before I picked up my soapy cloth to finish cleaning. She took the cloth out of my hand and ran it up and down the length of my growing hard again penis. I stepped away. “Ooh…I really don’t have time.” I jumped out of the shower, wrapping my towel around my waist.
Raquel chuckled. “You are so insatiable. I was just trying to help. I didn’t think you would get hard again.”
“Yeah, right… you were tempting me again.” I left the bathroom and headed to my closet, smiling. My business remained in the black, parents and I were in a good place and I had a new woman. I was about to spend a week with my son. Yes, life was looking up. I pulled on boxer briefs, grabbed a pair of jeans, and a shirt, and walked back into my bedroom.
Raquel perched on the edge of my bed now draped in my robe. “Do you still have sex with Dominick’s mother?”
We hadn’t spoken a lot about our respective pasts. Raquel told me she had been with her ex for eight years when he decided he didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. She knew I’d been divorced two years, that I had a twelve-year-old son with a woman from a previous relationship. She didn’t know the details of my divorce or about Dominick.
I grinned. “Straight to the point, huh?”
She didn’t return my smile. “Do you?”
I quickly donned my jeans and shirt before responding. “The last time I visited which was about a month ago, we did. Before that time, it had been years because we were both married.”
Raquel continued, “Are you going to be with her when you go? I mean we don’t have any ties to each other.”
I sat next to her. “Honestly, I do plan to have a long conversation with her. She’s been wanting to be with me for a long time and never really forgave me for marrying another woman while she was pregnant. Make a long story short for now, I was twenty-three, feeling myself and not being the best boyfriend to my ex-wife. Ended up with a child shortly after I married. And I have been paying for it ever since by not being able to be with my son, partially lost my wife because of not being honest with my wife about my son. So now I need to make amends with the mother of my child.” I pulled on my socks.
She insisted. “Does that involve sex?”
I looked at her. “She and I have unresolved issues. You were unexpected and we already acting like this couple because we live right next door, and we gel so well.”
“You still didn’t answer my question.”
“What do you want me to say?”
I shrugged. “Okay. You and I have been seeing each other for two weeks and I hadn’t thought seriously of cutting everyone else out of my life. Is that where you are with me? If your ex called you and said he wanted to see you, are you going to tell him no because you have a man?”
Her eyes flashed, but she didn’t say anything.
“What I can say is that I have no intention of having sex with Vonni, but that would be because I chose not to, not because I’m seeing you.”
She tried to stand, and I tugged her back down. “Aaron, I need to go before I get upset.”
I cupped her face. “Hey, hey…maybe I should have shut the door on Vonni before I asked you to breakfast. But how was I supposed to know that I wanted more than a date with you? You and I are still new enough that if you told me that you went out with another man or your old man, I would be jealous, but I would want to keep seeing you. I hope you feel the same.”
“I don’t want to be played, Aaron.”
I kissed her lips. “Neither do I. But how am I playing you if I’m being honest? You want me to say that I won’t have sex with Vonni and I don’t want to tell you something I’m not sure of. Do I want her and I to get back together? No. But we may have a moment that involves sex. Will I lead her on? No. Will I lead you on? No.”
Raquel frowned. “So, you just have sex with any woman you’re involved with?”
I removed my hands. “I need to go. Once I get back, we can talk more.”
“After you get what you want from her, then you back with me?”
Trying hard not to be frustrated I asked, “Is it the fact that you and I had sex fucking with your mind? Got you thinking I’m not allowed to be with anyone else, though we haven’t formally agreed to be a couple. Let’s pretend you and I didn’t have sex, that we’ve only had three dates because we live a half-hour away from each other instead of next door. Would you be pissed with me like you are right now?”
“I can agree that having a lot of sex in a short period of time makes me more possessive of you and that we both have pasts that might not be resolved. I just don’t understand why you would want me to meet your parents if you’re not serious about me?”
“So, it’s the fact about meeting my parents that’s got you giving me the side-eye.” Trying to lighten the mood because I really needed to run, and I didn’t want to leave with her angry at me.
She crossed her arms. “You’re giving me mixed signals.”
I planted a kiss on her neck, slowly untying the belt of my robe that covered her naked body. “What I can tell you, take it, or leave it. You’re the only woman in the two years since my divorce that I want to meet my parents. Maybe it’s wishful or hopeful thinking that we have a future. But there are some things from my past I need to clear up.” I spread the folds of the soft cloth, lowering my head to suckle on her nipple. Moaning, she grasped my head, and I rolled her stiff bud between my teeth. I looked up at her now lust-filled gaze. “If you and I decide to be in a committed relationship, I won’t cheat on you. My parents have been married for longer than you and I have been alive, and my father has never cheated on my mother. That’s the legacy I want to leave behind with my next woman. When I get back, I want to knock on your door and be able to tell you about my trip. You can ask me anything you want, and I’ll answer, and we can take it from there. Is that alright?”
Raquel laid her body back on my bed and opened her legs. “Kiss my other lips and then I’ll let you know if it’s alright.”
I pressed her thighs down and my mouth hovered over her mound. “I always preferred French kissing.”
Twenty minutes and satisfied Raquel later, I was in my car on the way to the airport, debating whether to call Tisha. I needed her opinion on whether I’d been too honest with Raquel. Plus, I missed her, and we were still friends.
Tisha answered promptly, “I know I told you I needed space, you took that shit too literally.”
I reminded. “You could have called me too. The phone works both ways.”
“Point. So, what’s going on? It’s a Saturday morning.”
“I wanted to talk to you about Raquel?”
Tisha said snidely, “You still seeing her?”
I retorted, “You still seeing Dewayne? Can I talk about her with you or not?”
She sighed. “Friend hat on. What’s up?”
“I’m on my way to Tallahassee and we had a minor argument because she asked me would I have sex with Vonni and I told her it was possible. I think I smoothed it over, though I didn’t think I did anything wrong in the first place. I was only being honest.”
“You must have had sex with Raquel. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be possessive. I feel that way about you sometimes.”
I grinned. “Admit all the time?”
“Nope. Just some. Other times I still can’t stand your ass.”
“One day, you’ll be honest with me about how you really just want me for yourself. But yeah, we had sex right after you and I got off the phone.”
She admonished, “Aaron. You said you were taking it slow.”
I checked my mirrors before switching lanes. “Look, you had me all hard and shit and she knocked on my door inviting me to her place. I wouldn’t have gone to her, but she came to me. Like you didn’t give it good to Dewayne that night with me on your mind.”
Her deep throaty laughter coursed through my body. “God, I really hate you.”
“On a serious note, I like this woman and already making plans for the future. Was I too honest with Raquel about Vonni?”
“What… that you plan to fuck Vonni again even if your new woman doesn’t want you to?”
“I’m not planning but it could happen just because this is it for Vonni and me. Besides Raquel is not my new woman yet.”
“So, you want one last fuck for old times’ sake?”
“I’m not going to initiate it or expect it. I hadn’t even thought of sex with Vonni until Raquel mentioned it. But I didn’t want to lie.”
“You can’t refrain from sex with Vonni?”
“I told you I didn’t sleep with her for years. My point is that I don’t know what will happen when we talk beyond the fact that I know that she isn’t the one for me. This woman has loved me since we were both eighteen and I’ve let her down over the years. I’ve always had some guilt about how I treated her, especially after the way she’s held it down while raising my son. After we talk, she may want to curse me or sleep with me. And I can’t say I would deny her.”
“Hell, Aaron. You that sexually weak for Vonni? I believe you don’t want to make her your wife because she would have been that back then or you would already be with her now. The fact that you can’t tell your new woman, that you won’t have sex with your child’s mother, a woman who’ll always be a part of your life, should make Raquel doubt if you can be faithful if a future is possible.”
“I can be faithful. But I don’t have to be right now. I don’t have ties to anyone.”
“You can’t just be faithful because you decide later that Raquel is your woman. You need to show her while you’re dating that you can be.”
“I’m showing her that I’m honest, which is the first step. We’ve been seeing each other two weeks and yes, we probably did move faster than either one of us planned because it’s so convenient to live next door to each other.”
“You’re casting doubt that at least where your son’s mother is concerned, you may slip from time to time. That is what happened with Kam. You couldn’t leave Vonni alone at the beginning of your relationship, your marriage with Kam. Raquel doesn’t know that, but I do.” She paused. “Sometimes with women, Aaron, you can be so naïve. Then again, most men are arrogant enough to believe they understand women and they really don’t. Vonni knows you’re single again, she knows that Kam broke your heart. She’s going to pull out all stops to get you, even using guilt because she knows you and it worked before. And once you tell her that she doesn’t have a chance again, she will probably use what has always worked where you’re concerned. Your wayward dick. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a relationship with anyone or on your lonesome. If you don’t want to be with her, leave her alone. Vonni is not some woman you dated and now it’s over. She will always be attached to you through your son. You have sex with her, and she’ll always feel she has a chance. And that’s not fair to her.”
I grew silent as I turned off the highway headed to the airport.
“And I’m telling you now, I never want you to have pity sex with me.”
“I want to be with you. It would never be pity sex…sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” I parked my car and glanced at the clock. I needed to make a run for my flight, but I couldn’t seem to get off the phone. I loved that I could confide with Tisha like this. She’d been the only one. My cousin, Jamal probably was the closest to a best friend I had but we rarely spoke deeply. I tried to make Kari my confidante and that failed horribly.
Tisha sighed. “Did you tell Raquel about me?”
“The same reason Dewayne doesn’t know about me. We both keep saying how we want to be honest in our relationships, but we’re not if you and I have this special friendship and our respective partners don’t know.”
She groaned, “Aaron, what are we going to do? We can’t keep talking to each other.”
“I know. I can’t keep pretending that I don’t think about you every single fucking day. Or that I keep hoping Dewayne will fuck up or something, just so you’ll leave him and be with me. But then I don’t want you to feel any heartache because I know you love him.”
We were both silent, the sounds of a bustling airport surrounded me.
“You’re right about Vonni. I’m not going to have sex with her again no matter what. I have to let go of the guilt and just be there more for her as a partner in raising our son.” I inhaled and exhaled deeply, scared to say the next but necessary words. “I’m also not going to talk to you again. I’m in a good place and you helped me get here. I can’t keep relying on you, confiding in you, especially because I’m too damn attracted, and I love you. I have potential with Raquel. She could be the next Mrs. Youngblood because I do want to be married again. Raquel has shown me that. I like that we see each other every day. There’s comfort, there’s stability, there’s peace. Like I know you feel with Dewayne, which is why no matter how attracted or deep your feelings maybe for me, you don’t want to just drop him for me. And I’ve been honest with Raquel about everything except you.
Tish, you reminded me that I started my relationship with Kam with dishonesty. I don’t want to make the same mistake twice. If you were just my friend, I would’ve told Raquel about you, even wanted the two of you to meet one day. But you mean so much more to me. I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve been in love with you for a while now.”
“Aaron…” she said softly, concern for me filled her voice.
“It’s okay because maybe you weren’t meant for me. The day I met Raquel, I felt like I really had a fresh start for love. On our first date, we walked from our condo on a beautiful, bright morning to eat breakfast and I couldn’t help but notice the flowers blooming. I could finally let go of the pain of the past and welcome the pleasure of the present and hopefully the future.”
“If you’re in love with me, why do you want to be with another woman? Do you associate me with pain?”
Dropping my head against my seat, I admitted. “A part of me does. You hated me for years, Tisha, encouraged my wife to be with Kari, my own brother, because you hated me. Shit… your man is Kari’s friend. As much as I love you and would drop any woman in a heartbeat if you said you wanted me, I can’t ignore you remind me of so much pain. Raquel doesn’t.”
She sniffed. “I am truly sorry Aaron. I fucked up in so many ways in how I perceived and treated you over the years. Even Kam told me that I’d been too harsh, never really given you a chance. And yet you forgave me, listened to me, gave me invaluable advice, became my best friend, and we shared the sexiest night I ever had with a man.”
I chuckled, fighting my own tears. “That really was an amazing night, and you gave me what I needed to feel alive again at the expense of your relationship. Tisha, I must be in love with you. I can’t stay angry at you, though you have deserved every bit of my anger. I smile just fucking thinking of you. Found out your man is probably Kari’s best friend and I’m still longing for your mean ass.”
She said, “Mean? I haven’t been mean to you in a long time.”
“You wouldn’t give me none when I saw you. And that’s plain mean.”
She laughed out loud. “God, I’m going to miss you so much. Who’s going to make me laugh like you do?”
“No one. And I want it to stay that way.”
I looked out into the parking lot and responded quietly, “I’m trying not to be which is why we have to end us. I can’t give Raquel or any woman a real chance without allowing her to be my best friend.”
“I know. And I can’t give Dewayne my all, with you on my mind.”
I glanced at my watch and cursed silently, but I couldn’t get off the phone. “Tish, I know I don’t have the right to ask, but I have to know…”
“Yes, infuriating man, I’m in love with you too. And you get that stupid, gloating smile off your face.”
I laughed my heart full of bittersweet joy. “I can’t because I got the gorgeous and sexy, no-nonsense, tell it like it is, Ms. LaTisha to admit she loves me…no, no correction…she’s in love with me. There is a God.”
Wistfully, she said, “In another life, Mr. Youngblood.”
“In another life.” I bit the inside of my jaw, feeling my eyes mist. “Tish…I just missed my flight and the next one is in an hour and a half. You have time to talk? I just want to hear your voice before I don’t anymore.”
Tisha responded, “I can make time.” And I closed my eyes, savoring the sound of her soothing, rather throaty voice, as she told me how she’d taken my advice and Lacy and she had been getting along better. I quietly listened wishing time could freeze so I could talk forever to the woman who challenged me to be a better man and showed me it was possible to love again.
When I finally reluctantly ended my call with Tisha, I’d made it through security and hurried on my way to the departure gate. I called Raquel, hoping she would pick up.
She answered after a few rings. “You made it?”
“No. Still in D.C. Missed my first flight.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you late. Maybe this morning wasn’t a good time to ask you about your relationship with your son’s mother. Chalk it to I’m already crazy about you and don’t want to lose you.”
I smiled. “I get it because I feel the same. Your question was valid which is why I wanted to reassure you I’m not going to have sex with my son’s mother again. This week is only about closure with her and spending time with my son.”
Raquel asked in surprise, “What made you call me back?”
“I was reminded of how I started off my relationship with my ex-wife and I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of my past with you. I can’t wait to see you. Let me cook dinner for you when I get back Sunday.”
“Won’t you be tired?”
“I think I can find the energy to make a box of mac and cheese and some fish sticks.”
She laughed. “You really play too much. Just come over when you get back. And enjoy your time with Dominick.”
“I will. Later.” I clicked off the cell my heart lifting again after the sadness of ending my friendship with Tisha. I slipped my phone into my pocket and noticed the short line at Starbucks. I had just enough time to grab a coffee before my flight.
I looked around the woman’s voice sounding familiar. Fuck! Fuck!
Leela wearing an impossibly tight black dress sauntered to me from a MAC kiosk with a wide seductive smile. “Aaron Youngblood. It really is a small world.”
Too fucking small.
***Hope you are continuing to enjoy Youngblood and had a wonderful Christmas. If you are now celebrating Kwanzaa. Today is Ujima, collective work and responsibility. And we as a nation, a world have a lot of work left to do. Take care!****